The Secret Diary of World's Worst Genius by Paro Anand

Author:Paro Anand [Anand, Paro]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9789351181859
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2013-03-04T00:00:00+00:00

19 June 2012: The Totally Random Genius

This is terrible, terrible. First of all, it’s true. I am a genius. But to be a genius at something so utterly random and useless! Something no one would want to be gifted in. It’s surely better to be a non-genius than to be a genius at something so utterly, utterly … useless. More than useless, shameful.

Laughable. Worst nightmare.

So let’s call this:

Diary of the World’s Most Random Genius

or

Diary of the World’s Worst Genius

So here’s the diary of the World’s Worst Genius. I could make it to the Guinness Book of Records as the world’s worst genius, whose talent is totally useless. In fact, why stop there? I could be a circus freak. People could throw proverbs and idioms and muhavaras at me the way they throw food at animals in cages. And hey presto! I would make them come true. Yeah, I think I’d better make a list like my mum’s. The one I’d sneakily looked at. The one where she had listed all the things she was useless at. I bet I could make a list more impressive than hers right now.

What is wrong with these people who go around with random surveys to find out random things? Do they even know how they can ruin—just ruin—the lives of their unsuspecting victims? I mean, sure, I used to grumble in my old life (yep, that’s what it feels like—like BC = Before—well, not Christ, obviously, but like, BG then = Before Genius and AG = After Genius.)

So, yeah, I used to grumble a lot about so many, many things before. But looking back, my life wasn’t that bad then. It was cruising along at a comfortable speed and I was pretty much happy. But now, now, in the AG age, everything is spoilt. My life has turned upside down, inside out. And …

Oops, got to go. Ma just walked in. Later …

Yep, Ma knew I was upset. Well, you didn’t have to be a genius to know that—and lucky for her, she wasn’t. She also knew that I’d not had much lunch. So she walked in carrying a jam sandwich and a glass of cold coffee. She sat on my bed and patted my hand. That’s one of the nice things about her. She knows when to keep quiet and not start in on a lecture immediately. Wordlessly, she gave me the sandwich. It was yum, full of the apricot jam she knew I loved most of all. I took the glass of cold coffee from her and she started to stand up. That’s when it happened. She accidentally knocked the glass from my hand with her elbow. The glass leapt up, like in a slo-mo shot, and flew above my head. And then it turned and poured all its contents on to my head! And of course, I burst out crying. It was too much.

Now I know what most of you are thinking. Yes, I was crying over spilt milk. But I didn’t care.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.